#855 - Richard Reeves - Why Do Modern Men Feel So Left Behind?

At a Glance

• Importance of Mainstream Recognition - “It’s people like, yeah, we all know that boys and men are struggling. Tell us how, right?” This highlights the shift in societal awareness and understanding of the issues facing boys and men, indicating that the conversation is becoming more recognized and less about proving the existence of these issues.

• Assessing Cultural Progress - “How much do you think is a progress that you’re making, culturally around the conversation and how much is bravery, personally?” This question underlines the challenge in distinguishing between cultural change and personal courage in advocating for less discussed issues.

• Navigating Risks - “I actually can’t run a significant risk because my reputation, the reputation of my Institute and to some extent the downstream movement would be affected by it.” This emphasizes the strategic considerations needed when discussing sensitive topics, balancing between pushing boundaries and maintaining credibility.

• Role Requirements - “What does the role you’re currently doing require of you?” This point stresses the adaptation required when taking on different societal roles, emphasizing the responsibility to meet the expectations and obligations inherent to each position.

• Institutional Influence - “Institutions should form you, right? They should shape you.” This reflects on the formative power of institutions and their role in shaping individuals’ actions and thoughts, especially in significant positions like Congress.

• Acknowledging Different Roles - “Recognise that people can have different roles to play, right?” This underlines the importance of acknowledging and respecting different perspectives and roles within a discussion, enhancing the depth and inclusivity of the conversation.

• Importance of Data - “If you want authoritative data on any of the things we’ve talked about, come to our website.” This point is humorously presented but seriously underscores the commitment to providing accurate and reliable information as a foundation for discussions on sensitive topics.

• Keeping It Boring as New Sexy - “Maybe boring is the new sexy.” A light-hearted yet profound observation that suggests the value in maintaining focus on substantive and factual content over sensationalism in discussions of critical issues.

These points collectively illustrate the episode’s deep dive into the complexities of advocating for underrepresented issues, balancing public perception, and the significant role of institutions in shaping societal discourse.

What to Do

• ‘Focus on Effective Communication’ - Triggering a tribal response is counterproductive in changing behavior or beliefs effectively; gentle arguments are often more compelling.

• ‘Reduce Aggression in Arguments’ - To influence behavior change, it’s advised to dial back aggression, as overly aggressive arguments can alienate the audience.

• ‘Use Caveats Appropriately’ - While exhausting, using caveats in discussions on important subjects helps in providing a balanced viewpoint and prevents misinterpretation.

• ‘Be Aware of the High Bar in Conversations’ - Recognize that the expectations for softness in conversations can be very high, making it challenging to meet them without extensive qualifications.

• ‘Understand the Dual Nature of Advice’ - Advice can often be misinterpreted or selectively adopted, impacting different individuals in diverse ways, so tailor advice with caution.

• ‘Acknowledge the Potential for Misinterpretation’ - Be prepared for some of your statements to be taken out of context or misunderstood, especially in long conversations.

• ‘Assume Goodwill’ - When engaging in discussions, especially contentious ones, it helps to presume that others are also aiming for constructive dialogue.

• ‘Embrace Fact-Based Discussions’ - Grounding arguments in empirical data and facts leads to more substantiated and credible discussions.

• ‘Avoid Zero-Sum Thinking’ - Try to find solutions without diminishing other perspectives or options, fostering a more inclusive approach to problem-solving.

• ‘Encourage Positive Conversations’ - Focus on solutions and positive outcomes rather than merely criticizing or highlighting problems to engage and inspire your audience effectively.

What to Get

• Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male Is Struggling, Why It Matters, and What to Do about It by Richard V. Reeves - Amazon

• Tonka Ali - Amazon - Used to naturally improve testosterone levels, enhancing physical and sexual performance.

Summary

In this podcast episode, the discussion revolves around the importance of addressing and understanding issues faced by boys and men, highlighted by the establishment of the American Institute for Boys and Men. The guest, a founder of the Institute, discusses the necessity of approaching this topic with accurate data and a non-partisan perspective, emphasizing the need to keep the information presented “boring” or straightforward to maintain focus on the factual content rather than sensationalism.

The conversation also explores broader themes of intellectual discourse and the sharing of knowledge. It highlights the philosophy of John Stuart Mill, emphasizing that in any discussion, it is rare that one person holds all the truth while the other holds none. This point underscores the value of dialogue and the exchange of ideas to collectively edge closer to truth and understanding, regardless of the field of study or topic of discussion.

Another significant aspect of the discussion is the challenge of navigating public perception and media when presenting potentially controversial topics. The guest shares personal experiences and strategies used to avoid being pigeonholed or misinterpreted by different ideological groups. This includes careful consideration of how information is first introduced to the public and the strategic engagement with various media outlets to maintain a balanced and unbiased presentation.

Lastly, the episode touches on the personal and institutional responsibilities of individuals and organizations in shaping discussions and understanding around social issues. It calls for a thoughtful approach to how roles and platforms are used to influence societal discourse, advocating for integrity and purpose-driven actions in both personal and professional realms.

Overall, the episode serves as a thoughtful exploration of the complexities involved in discussing and addressing gender-specific issues, the importance of balanced and fact-driven information, and the broader implications of how we communicate and engage with challenging topics in public forums.