You 2.0: The Gift of Other People

At a Glance

• Shift from dread to delight - “The whole mood in that room brightened. That move from dread to delight at the end. I’d never seen anything like that happen.” This highlights the powerful impact of a conversation on changing emotions and perceptions.

• Experiment on deep conversations - “What happens when people go deep quickly in conversation?… It felt like, you know, somebody just sucked the air right out of the room.” This experiment showcases the initial resistance to deep conversations and the eventual positive outcomes.

• Repeated compliments - “The fear, of course, is that you’ll start to sound like a broken record… each one was unique.” This research finding challenges the belief that repeated compliments will lose their impact, emphasizing the importance of genuine and unique appreciation.

• Compliment calendar tradition - “We would do a compliment calendar in my family… it was great.” This tradition of sharing compliments daily within the family highlights the power of positive reinforcement and appreciation in relationships.

What to Do

• Approach conversations with an open mind - By approaching conversations with an open mind, you allow yourself to learn new things and have meaningful interactions with others. This can lead to personal growth and deeper connections with those around you.

• Take interest in others and show genuine curiosity - Showing genuine interest in others can lead to more opportunities for engaging conversations and connections. It can also help break down barriers and create a more positive social environment.

• Don’t underestimate the impact of expressing gratitude - Expressing gratitude and appreciation to others can have a profound effect on both the giver and the recipient. It can strengthen relationships, boost morale, and create a more positive social atmosphere.

• Overcome fears of reaching out and connecting with others - Overcoming fears and anxieties about reaching out to others can lead to unexpected positive outcomes. By taking the initiative to connect with others, you may discover new opportunities for growth and meaningful interactions.

What to Get

• Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want by Nicholas Epley - Amazon

Summary

In this engaging podcast episode, Shankar Vedantam sits down with Nick Epley, author of “Mind Wise”, to discuss an interesting experiment he conducted. The experiment aimed to understand human behavior and how people interact with each other. Here’s a brief summary of the conversation:

Nick Epley shares a personal anecdote about leading a workshop where participants were initially hesitant and even hostile towards the activity at hand. They were presented with a compliment calendar for Christmas, which they had to fill out by writing compliments about themselves. The room was filled with grumbling and swearing, leaving Nick feeling like he was in a precarious situation.

However, as soon as the participants started engaging with each other, something remarkable happened. They began to open up, share stories, and even shed tears. One participant became emotional, and another guy hugged his fellow participant at the end of their session. The room transformed from an atmosphere of dread to one of delight and joy.

Nick Epley shares that he was surprised by this sudden shift in mood and decided to ask participants how they actually felt before and after the exercise. The difference between their expectations and experiences was massive, highlighting the power of human connection and interaction.

This conversation raises interesting questions about human behavior, group dynamics, and how people interact with each other. It challenges our assumptions about what motivates people and highlights the importance of creating a supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and emotions.